The past few months, I've been miserable. Not because of life, love or anything else I've spent the last few years complaining about, but because I chose to make my life miserable, by not seeing outside the box. Something I've always prided myself on doing.
I refuse to make any resolutions, because personally I think thats bullshit, and most people never stick to them after the first two week's, But I have been doing some serious thinking between cry spells, and know I need to change allot about my additude and outlook on my life.
I wasnt rasied the way I thought I should have been and I didnt get the love I thought I should have grwoing up, and that I always felt my siblings were more loved than me, oh boo hooo, time to get over it, and deal with my biggest issue, as far back as I can recall, I've never felt deserving, and have been suicidal since probably around 12 years old. I need to see someone about that, and salvage the years I have left here.
This year, maybe I'll get a life break and things will lean towards my favor. Perhaps I'll meet my dream woman, or even moreso, perhaps the woman Whom I dream about nightly, will see me for the man I am. utoh,.. lol, maybe thats not a good thing after all. lol
anyways,... My list of Best this year:
- My Harley,... not beautiful, but mine and shes coming together
- My Dog Zoe,.. my life, my bestest friend, and I'd killl for her
- My small circle of Friend's,.. its not always about you, just because I blog this and that, your important, but not that much, get over it knuckleheads. lol
- My family, no, not blood, Biker. My brothers who love me and have my back.
- My music, Blade once blogged " This guy knows more about music than I forgot". True,.. Music keeps me sane, rules my moods and I hear things most never think exsist.
- My Son, although you choose not to be apart of my life, I do love you.
Have a profitable new year, and pray for East to find the stuff he thinks he desires the most in life.
2 comments:
East, I hope 2009 moves you down the path of self-love. Be good to yourself - and seek out what you need.
~Mit
What a wonderful blog post, East Coast Al.
Please let me know how I can help...and keep pushing forward!!!
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